We've signed up for the Post Office broadband deal, yes that's right, the Post Office, those guys that play rugby with your ebay parcels. Despite some horror stories on various message boards, router arrived in good time and installation of the line and so forth was hassle free. It's the 'up to' 8mbps unlimited downloads, their high end package.
My PC hadn't been connected in over a year, so I was expecting a few initial teething difficulties. As expected, as soon as I connected I was bombarded by attacks from a multitude of digital nasties. Long story short, 2 days, 40 odd windows updates and 30 odd malware/adware/hijackware/virus scans later my pc is clean, up to date, and working like a dream. Yes I've burnt my retinas, I've also now got a stiff back and a shoulder blade that feels like it has a red hot blade residing there on a permanent basis. But my pc is clean and up to date, all ready for the lovely shiny new internet I've so patiently waited for as my finances slowly claw their way back to somewhere near 'the black'.But what's this, I seem to be experiencing speeds that take me back to about 1998, for a moment there I was convinced I was running windows '98, no please, I don't want to go back there....!! I must still have some nasty that's leeching my connection or something, surely..!? No..! Speed tests completed at a number of different online sites indicate a speed of 500kbps.
Oh, this is worrying, very worrying indeed, call the support centre... Yes sir, the line takes 10 days to settle in, please take a speed report on the 8th, 9th and 10th day of connection and report it to me, if the speed is still low we'll send an engineer out (which will no doubt be another expense). I'm still having trouble with a previous comment at this time, 'settle in'? 'What ,you mean like a new carpet, or new shoes, is the line somehow flexing itself in order to accommodate more information?' Telephone operative repeats his spiel from PO telephone policy bible, I feel like I'm suddenly talking to the broadband police, a newly qualified Officer from Server HQ that can't think for himself, some drone just repeating taught phrases at me... Ok I mutter and hang up, defeated by the automaton...
Think I've done around 25 speed tests today, must stop. Remember the days of zx's, 64's and the likes, you used to stare at the screen as if your attention would somehow make it load faster..? Must stop...
It's like the chat I had to Microsoft re Xbox Live where they told me "no one can change the country assigned to your gamertag once it is set up"
ReplyDelete"What? do you mean? It's a line on a database and you work for Microsoft. How on earth is it possible that a line in a database, owned and run by the biggest software comanpy in humanities history, cannot be changed?"
"No one can change the country assigned to you gamer tag once it is set up sir"
"What about the DB admin? Surely that's the very role of the admin's job, to clean up errors and problems in the data. CAn't I email them? I wasn't even asked for my country, it just assumed USA for some horrid reason."
"No one can change the country assigned to you gamer tag once it is set up sir"
"Yes I know you think that. CAn you tell me how to contact the person who adminsters the db?"
"I can't because I don't know that sir."
"Ok, you have a memo telling you this line. Where did it come from? I can ask for them via the MS s/board"
"I can't tell you that sir?"
Why not?
"It's against policy to give out any name other than my own."
Argghhhhh
Ah, the ever helpful and caring Microsoft, good luck trying to sort that out....
ReplyDeleteInternet speed is now down to 300kbps... 8mb service, pfaahh